Life Update [06.03.17]

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Those who know me well will know how intellectually scatty I am.

I gratefully decline the offer of books to borrow from friends because I know that despite how interesting a title may sound to me in that moment (and it really doesn’t take much to pique my interest), I cannot guarantee, and indeed it is highly unlikely, that I will read it in the immediate future.

I could turn straight from the densest, grisliest and harrowing historical tome to children’s literature, and be as invested in the latter as I was in the former only a single page before.

Thus, having today finished E. M. Forster’s excellent short story, ‘The Machine Stops’, I now move on from writing about ‘The Totalitarianism of Technology‘ to a brief Life Update.

***

Well then, what’s new?

Very simply, as of today, I no long carry a prescription for Citalopram.

It has been out of my system for around four (maybe five) days; I told my doctor four and got the impression that, as I myself was feeling, there would be scant difference between the two numbers at this point.

When I found myself running low a couple of weeks ago, I began spacing them out. I then ran out completely; only to find half a pack’s supply in a draw yesterday evening. But by this point, they were, as mentioned, (to my mind) out of my system.

I stress that this is not advisable and one should consult their doctor before halting any medication. 

For me, however, I had been feeling that it wasn’t as necessary as it once was; hence the absence of urgency, on my part. It turned out that I hadn’t seen my doctor since November last year. I didn’t realise it had been so long(!) He had given me a repeated prescription to carry me through the Christmas period and so, now March 2017 was when I was coming to the end of my Citalopram supply.

Nevertheless, I told my doctor that I was feeling centuries better than I had been, and lightyears away from the hellish state I had been in at the initial period of prescription. He could quite obviously tell, and (furthermore) looked himself visibly happy about this. We talked, and I explained that I didn’t feel I needed them at this point; that I may well have some stressful weeks ahead of me, but that I knew that that was not what this specific medication was for. He agreed that – and (I dare say) not least based on my having opened the conversation in a particularly positive tone – I had, it would seem, come to the end of this previously necessary prescriptive cycle.

We parted on pleasantries, I reassured in the knowledge that should I begin to feel that I was in any way approaching the mental state I had been enduring six months ago, I would could come back to him.

***

In other news, I have been to a number of gigs of late, and happily inhaled a whole bunch of books this past weekend. (More about this here.) But most importantly, I wanted to mark this date in the positive.

***

If you yourself are struggling, please don’t hesitate to talk to someone.

Please also know that, if indeed you are placed on medication, this is neither a bad nor negative thing; it may, conversely, be precisely what you need at that precise moment in time.

Medication is not, for want of a better phrase, a “life sentence”.

It may not feel like it at the time – and goodness knows, it may take a whole
lot of time before this approaches truth in your mind – but things
will get better.

***

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me at whateverwords1@gmail.com or, more easily, tweet me at @whateverwordsuk

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