Insecurities

What follows may be a bad idea but I’m currently feeling slightly let down and hurt, and consequently all-too familiar feelings of loneliness and – frankly, by now, boring – anxieties are bubbling away. However, part of me thinks – and a bigger part of me doubtless hopes – that it’s moments like this when I can turn externalities into a positive by way of something others may relate to.

***

My Insecurities

Will anyone ever kiss me again?
Should I try to be something I’m not?
How much of a weirdo am I really?
Will anyone ever actually love me again?
If the others changed their minds, who’s to say the rest won’t?
Why do they always change their minds?
What is wrong with me?
What is wrong with me?
How much longer do I have to wait until I get to have a happy snuggle with someone?
Why am I seemingly unattractive to everyone?
Am I completely unlovable?
Do I actually have any appealing qualities or interests?
If I can’t be it myself, how else can I help others be happy?
If I change – even into something I don’t like so that I can fit in – will I be happy?
Are all the things I’ve told myself I should be proud of merely an illusion?
When does self-deprecation become a problem?
How much more self-deprecation can I withstand?
Am I going to cry today?
Am I ever going to [……..] again?
How long will it be until I meet someone who just might like me for me?
Why can’t I like me?
Will anyone ever love me again?
When will I get to experience passion again?
Am I just entirely undeserving of passion?
How do some people get by without passion and romance?
I think I can be romantic; but what (at this stage) is the point?
I miss being loved and wanted and everything that comes with it – but do I just have to do accustom myself to the fact that I’ll never have any of that again?
Am I ever going to [……..] again?
Will anyone ever kiss me again?
What is wrong with me?
Why can’t just I be happy?

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